My body’s numb. Tingling, as my eyes gaze towards the fortress I fell from, head still wet after falling into the water. At least I was able to get out before losing complete control of my body. The clouds spin around in circles, blending in together until forming one circular tree— an opening to heaven. For once, my eyes don’t burn when I look towards the sky. 

   My teeth clench against each other as tears pop out to soothe both drying eyes that don’t dare blink. Nature’s silence is interrupted by a sorrowful scream.

   “Erjot... Erjot!” Asier crawls all the way to me. Warmth surrounds me as my head now rests on his trembling arms, cradled like a baby. “It’s alright... just stay alive until Renwick gets here...” His voice shakes while repeating the same words, his body swaying around, heaving and drooling blood from his mouth. I might actually fall and drown forever and ever until my body gives up.

   This’s bad— I can’t speak. Might as well be karma for not telling my apprentice how my body works. Instead of accepting death, it tries escaping it. No matter how much pain I’m feeling right now as it keeps regenerating every part of me.

 

   Reconstructing bones.

   Mending muscles. 

   Suturing nerves and veins.

 

   Through these broken thoughts, I never thought I’d feel at ease with this numbness. Asier still cries as he holds me tightly. Thana approaches us, both blood-stained swords held tightly, luscious violet hair now replaced by snakes. She looks like a goddess. I always loved it when her hair morphed.

   She stops, bringing up both swords in front of her, crossing each other with their tips reaching her earlobes. “You…”. I prepare myself for her endless berating over a preventable accident— me getting in the way of her attack. It would’ve been easy to reattach my head if it wasn’t for the corrosive acid constantly trying to take my life away. Out of every opportunity given to me, this should’ve been a perfect time to die, yet this world isn’t ready to let me go. 

   “None of this would’ve happened if you weren’t here!” Thana yells.

   Asier wipes his sleeve against his bloody mouth. “Shut up!” He coughs, spitting out more blood, staining the wooden bridge, “I didn’t make you hurt her!” His voice is unclear, all smothered up by blood.

   “Did you think I’d let you into the fortress?” Her position changed, now ready to strike at any moment. Asier puts my head down, slowly getting up. 

   Idiot! You’re not going to last!  Eyes widen as I witness his legs losing control, his body trying to remain strong. His efforts are useless as his body slams against the bridge, hitting face-first. At least he’d no longer be breathing in the toxic sweet smell those snakes are emitting.

   “Easy riddance,” Thana lowers her swords. There’s no knowing what she plans on doing next; even if I knew, there’d be no one getting in her way. I want to get up— I need to get up. A strange sensation ran through my mind, tingling my damaged nerves for what could be the final straw as my body begins giving up. 

   Before I realize, my prosthetic arm detaches from my body, free of the endless loop of misery. Cold air brushes against my peeling skin, revealing ugly, rotten flesh for the gods to witness. Fucking hell, it hurts! Tears rush down my cheeks like a river, mouth open as silent agony fills everyone’s ears. Thana recoils before continuing to walk forward.

   I hate this revolution…

   I hate this damned world! Not a single moment of peace exists here— just revolutions, wars, genocides! When will it end?!

   This revolution’s stupid. Why can’t everyone agree and bow down to the new emperor? It would’ve at least prevented many lives being lost. And who thought that little truce was going to help both sides when bargaining? Thinking about it now, is everything being said about the emperor true at all? Why didn’t I stay behind with Thana and the others, at least I would have to capture rebels instead of killing them.

   What a fool I am. The greatest in history for thinking death will alleviate me from this pain. Watching myself dying is the worst kind of punishment imaginable. And everyone questions why I hate this world. How? How could anyone dream of having a body that won’t give in to death? There’s nothing to admire or love about a  body going against one’s wishes. Either way, everyone dies. We’re born, become youths, grow up to adults and begin aging until our bodies become too old and rot away as if we never mattered; maybe we never did to begin with.

   Thana looms over my body, sheathing one of her swords on to the holster. Both hands now hold tightly to one sword as its sharp tip barely touches my chest. Bloodshot eyes stare back at me momentarily before her gaze lowers, “I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t have gotten in my way.” She forces a smile, quickly turning to a flat line.

   For once in many years, I want to live. It doesn’t matter if I die today or tomorrow. I just want to live…to live! Even if it’s to protect Asier. A small spark drives me to continue living; I want to reach my hand out to her, scream any words that come to mind, apologize to those I’ve hurt—

   

But this is my end. Nothing comes out of my broken mouth, and my eyes only remember where Thana last stood as her sword plunges into my heart.